Christian Music: Just like regular music, only CRAPPIER!

So, I was recently perusing the iTunes music store, checking out some new podcasts, which I love, and I decided to go over the the actual MUSIC (it is a music store, after all) and see what Godly awesomeness Christian bands were serving up for our aural pleasure these days. And wow, what a hot mess.
It seems that as a Christian, I am forced to choose between two different types of “musicians,” if you can call them that. I can pick between me-too bands copying the sappy, vomit-inducing styles of “Butterfly Kisses” by What’s-his-name, (Stephen Curtis Chapman, you know you’re the worst offender in this) or I can subject my ears to the torture of Rock / Alternative bands who just sing about Jesus because they’re not good enough for a regular record label to sign them (Would Chris Sligh be sining Christian music if he won American Idol?). For this I blame the Canadians. But only if Toby Mac is Canadian, and therefore Canada is responsible for Gotee Records by proxy.
Speaking of Toby Mac, DC Talk was super-cool when I was kid, because they were unique, and that got on adults’ nerves. They were only mediocre, artistically, but Kevin Max did at least have some influence, so they weren’t totally crappy. Today’s crop of “Contemporary Christian Artists” seem to rarely sing about Jesus, and if they do, they have no artistic ability whatsoever. It’s a different style, but Rich Mullins wrote lyrics that made you FEEL what he felt about God. They were infused with his passion. I rarely even hear this so-called Christian artists mention the name of Jesus, much less convey the passion they have for Him in their hearts.
Years ago, some of the world’s greatest composers wrote their masterpieces for the glory of God. Works of true art that we still regard today as unrivaled. They had the right idea…Christian music, art, work ethics, everything should be of such high quality, that the world strives to produce something as excellent as we do. Songs that do have meaningful lyrics are usually unlistenable due to horrible music.
Something must be done. I’m sick of “Christian Music” being marketed as a better alternative for our kids to listen to than secular music, and hearing the same self-indulgent lyrics. I’m boycotting crappy Christian music. I encourage you to join me.

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